Happiness is completing a project, celebrating, and then preparing for the next one.
I’ve just completed a publishing project (or a re-publishing project) with minor updates to the first three volumes of the Christchurch Then and Now Book series. The original print runs have all sold out, so I’m doing a small reprint as there is still some interest in these titles since I’ve released Volume 4.
As this required my having to update and reformat the files for a different printing company, it required a good chunk of time investment. Which is one reason for the delay in writing Reflection #010.
When one project is completed, the door opens for another. I actually have several on the go, so choosing which to make priority is never easy. However, I am leaning into completely my book titled Every Day Happiness: Easy Strategies for Self-Confidence and Lasting Joy.
In this article:
- How do you define happiness?
- Is it possible to be happy one hundred percent of the time?
- Can you really buy happiness?
- Are you responsible for making other people happy?
- Sneak look at my current work in progress Every Day Happiness book
Firstly, welcome to my new readers and subscribers. I hope you enjoy this Café Reflection. Generally I try to handwrite the first draft in a café, as this gives me some time out in a third space to sit and reflect, as well as experience and observe a small slice of life (often with a small slice of something yummy).
I also encourage you to treat yourself to your favourite beverage and something yummy to eat when you read my reflections, as they are often long.
This Café Reflection was self-sponsored. I took time out to write at Bakermans in Fendalton(see above photo). The blueberry muffin and coffee did buy me a moment of happiness. Bakermans is one of my regular spots, and is a very popular bakery/cafe. I can recommend this place, and if you’re a chocolate eclair fan, they also provide a moment of happiness (and often sell out quickly).
If you would like to sponsor a Café Reflection by shouting me a coffee, you can do so here. Sponsorship, along with paid subscriptions, helps me to do my bit with keeping the economy growing. Thanks for your support!
How do you define happiness?
Happiness is a sense of joy, well-being or contentment. It is a feeling that comes over you when you know life is sweet and you just can’t help but smile.
~Printed on a cushion
A few years ago The Warehouse had a series of cushions with inspirational messages on them, including the one in the picture above. Unfortunately, when I went in store to purchase the Happiness cushion, it was sold out. So I went online and ordered it…
…and after a few days, I got a message saying it was not in stock at any store in New Zealand (even though it showed online that it was), and my order was being cancelled and refunded.
So it turned out there was no happiness at any of The Warehouse stores in New Zealand. As I had already purchased the other cushions in the series (love, and life) I was very disappointed with this outcome.
(I’m planning on designing and printing a series of cushions and t-shirts with inspirational and empowering messages, so if you are interested in knowing when they are available, send me a message).
In any case, The Warehouse’s cushion’s definition of happiness is clear: Happiness is a sense of some positive emotion or feeling. In other words, it is a state that is self-generated when you are thinking, feeling, acting or communicating in ways that you perceive are positive and meaningful.
For most people, happiness is short-term as it is dependent on fleeting, external triggers you react to, such as buying a coffee and cake, a cushion, in social situations, going away on vacation, and so on.
The focus of this reflection, and my book Every Day Happiness is on sustainable, long-term happiness. In other words, learning the skills and strategies to respond to internal and external strategies in positive, empowering ways the majority of the time.
According to Good Think Inc, there are four main qualities that sustain happiness:
1) optimism (believing that our behaviour will eventually matter)
2) social connection (the breadth and depth of our relationships)
3) the way we perceive stresses (as challenges instead of threats)
4) meaning (the connection between our actions and our values).
Is it possible to be happy one hundred percent of the time?
We all know people who appear to be the eternal optimist, always upbeat no matter what happens, or what life throws at them. However, I’m sure they do have their down moments, when life’s toughest moments strike.
And maybe they aren’t happy all of the time. But I suspect their happiness gauge is often at the higher end of the dial. So if you do find it challenging to respond positively no matter what, then take comfort that you can model yourself on the strategies and processes used by the eternal optimist.
Writing about, practising and sharing the strategies and processes of happiness makes me happy :-) And so I invite you to subscribe (if you haven’t already) to my Substack, and my newsletter at KESWiN Academy, or join as a member in the Academy community at where we welcome happiness into our lives every day.
Can you really buy happiness?
Whether it’s a cup of coffee and a cake, or retail therapy, most often the happiness that results is fleeting. That’s because most “happiness” purchases are emotionally driven.
Marcus Lemonis explores 5 reasons why money can’t buy you happiness. And if you are just using money as a band-aid to fill the emptiness inside you, then of course you won’t be able to create long-term, sustainable happiness.
However, if you suffer a lack of money, and you’re always working and scrambling to meet your financial commitments, then what little spare money you have will definitely not bring you happiness. It will always have a tinge of guilt with it, knowing you should have invested it more wisely in something long-term.
On the other hand, if you’re at a point in life where you have disposable income (i.e. you’re not finding you have too much month at the end of your money) then you have the ability to “buy” special things or moments that support your long-term goals and happiness.
Are you responsible for making other people happy?
The answer to this question is quite simply, “No, you are not responsible for another person’s happiness.” If you have anyone in your life that thinks you are (or they think that you think they are), then I recommend having a heart-to-heart conversation with them.
It took me a long time to really understand this point. In one past relationship, my significant other at the time used to say to me, “I’m happy if you’re happy,” and then made very little effort to contribute to the overall relationship happiness. Basically this put too much pressure on me, because he was saying “you are responsible for my happiness” and I didn’t believe that was correct.
After that relationship ended, I discovered Jim Rohn’s personal empowerment books. The following principle stood out, and made me realise I was responsible for my own happiness, in order to bring the best of myself to the relationship. And in a good relationship, my significant other will be doing all the same.
The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me.’
~Jim Rohn
Needless to say, Jim Rohn has been a very influential mentor in my personal development journey. So if you haven’t studied any of his work, I recommend you do.
Sneak a look at my current work in progress: Cup Full of Happiness book
(previous working title was Every Day Happiness)
(Back cover information)
Are you ready to transform your problems, worries, and stresses into lasting joy?
This self-care feast gives you powerful tools and resources to take control of your life now and into the future. The 60 easy strategies in this book will help you every day to:
- Identify the valuable resources you have hidden deep within you (I refer to them as your hidden diamonds).
- Find the positive intention in negative states, events, and situations.
- Grow an honest and loving relationship with yourself.
- Develop win/win situations when communicating and interacting with other people.
- Learn critical thinking skills so that you can step away from Information Terrorism and sort out fact from fiction.
- Build your confidence and courage in order to pursue your dreams and achieve your goals.
- Become a strong individual by having certainty about your values, beliefs, talents and attributes.
- Take 100% control of your life, and your future.
- And lots more…
Stop waiting for happiness to find you; it’s already there inside you. So get ready to reclaim it now.
(You will be able to pre-order the book soon, with an anticipated release date in early 2026. Join the KESWiN Publishing email list to get regular updates direct to your inbox. Click here to join, then scroll to the bottom of the page and complete the form).
Become an Every Day Happiness Beta-Tester
Over the next few months I will be working on the content, and am looking for beta-testers to help me test the 60 strategies. So if this is something that interests you, please get in touch with me by sending me a message or joining one of my Cup Full of Happiness Hours.
These are regular online sessions with a focus on developing your every day happiness skills. If you’re on my email list, I’ll let you know when they are running, and invite you to register for the session. Join my list here.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope you enjoyed it, along with the beverage and treat you consumed while reading it. If you want to “shout me a coffee” and suggest a topic for me to reflect and write on at a café you can do so here. Every dollar helps support me in my writing, publishing, and mentoring endeavours.
Keep being the creator of your life!
Deb x
