Why most New Year resolutions are broken in the first week
Do you make New Year Resolutions?
Every new year I watch the posts scroll by on my Facebook feed. Everyone is hopeful that the coming year will be better than the last. When I ask them what New Year resolutions they have, or goals they have set, and what actions they are going to take, I’m pretty much met with silence.
It doesn’t take much to figure out who has a hopium addiction (I’ll be writing about that in a future reflection) and are pretty much wishfully and passively drifting through their lives.
I don’t make New Year resolutions; I set specific goals
At the end of each year, I spend time reflecting on the past year. I ask myself questions like: What did I do well? What goals set in January were achieved by Christmas? What results did I get that were below my expectations? And were they something I could have done better at? Or was my undesired result due to something out of my control?
Then, at the start of each year, rather than making New Year resolutions, I sit down and work though my 80 minute Goal Setting Workshop and create a quest map for the coming year. This includes detailing out the action steps needed to achieve my goals.
2020-2024 was about trying to make sense of the craziness
Over the past few years I’ve taken a detour from building my online presence. Partially because of the craziness that ramped up in 2020 and keeps continuing on, and partially due to some challenging circumstances in my immediate family.
Consequently, instead of focusing on my own dreams, I ended up helping some very courageous women build a freedom focused community and alternative media platform from the end of 2021.
I loved doing the work that I did, and building relationships with others. I learned a lot about myself, and my values, as well as found the courage to stand up against tyranny and become more of a leader than a follower.
However, as we moved in 2024 I realised I’d put my own needs and business on hold for long enough. After thinking about New Year Resolutions and goal setting, I stepped back from working for a third party and started working on my Christchurch Then and Now Volume 4 book. At the same time, I continued running my offline writing group, and helping clients publish their memoirs.
In my end of year assessment, I’ve realised how much work I have to do to rebuild my online presence. I’ve been looking at my options, and a wee voice inside me is whispering that building a community on Substack is a good idea…
Harking back to my online community pioneer days
Back in 2009 I started an online training academy, teaching solopreneurs about how to build a successful home based business by setting up a WordPress website, and writing authoritative quality content and marketing their services, affiliate products and more.
It was a lot of fun. I made a lot of friends who were located around the world. Often I was just a step ahead of the people I was training. Best of all, I got to share my writing and publishing knowledge, and empower non-writers to discover, mine and release their “writing diamonds”. To see them put their trust in me and grow in confidence as they developed their voice was a humbling experience.
Unfortunately, in 2011 I had to walk away from that venture, due to the devastating Christchurch earthquake. My focus was needed offline as I dealt with a broken house, destroyed family business, and the mass trauma that comes with a disaster of this scale.
The path forward was primarily in the physical world (rather than the digital), as I turned to writing, publishing and selling my print books, and helping others do the same.
But my heart has remained with the possibilities with online communities, and the 2021-2024 work I did for a third party organisation helped me rebuild my confidence in this arena.
2025 is about sharing my KESWiN and building a community of like-minded people
So thinking about New Year Resolutions, I heard a wee voice whispering to me about Substack. I thought about how well-received my post earthquake Café Reflections were (I had a website with a Facebook community).
Consequently, Café Reflections has come out of retirement and is being set up on Substack. To be honest I’ve never stopped my daily journal writing so I have a huge “mine” of rough writing diamonds to cut, polish and share with like-minded souls.
Specifically, Café Reflections is a virtual third space that encourages and inspires conversations, companionship, connection and community. It’s a place where you can discover tips and strategies to help you mine your valuable talents and attributes which I refer to as your KESWiN™ (Knowledge, Experiences, Skill-sets, Wisdom, ideas and Narratives).
And once you have discovered and mined your KESWiN, you are empowered to transform what emerges into stories you can share with your own community, networks, and loved ones.
A little bit about me and I’m offering subscribers to my Substack
Like you, I am a Being of the Light, Seeking Truth, encouraging Self-Reliance and Self-Healing. This first post about New Year Resolutions and goal setting is just a sample of the Café Reflections topics I write about. They will be posted here and on Substack. I hope they will inspire something in you and encourage you to research further.
I believe that everyone has valuable treasure hidden inside of them. Maybe something I publish will empower you to go on a heroic quest to dance with the dragons hiding your treasure, and on your return from the adventure, write your stories.
As a free subscriber of the Café Reflections Substack you can expect:
1-3 posts a week that will include tips, strategies and insights into various aspects and observations that will inspire and empower you to add value to your life journey.
Additional paid subscriber posts.
Access to the full archive.
The ability to interact with me and other paid subscribers via commenting on posts.
If you are inspired to provide some behind-the-scenes ideas or research for a reflection, let me know.
You will also get VIP invitations to online workshops and meetups that I run from time to time where you can interact with me and others in a live environment.
And if you choose to become a sustaining member, you also get 1 x 90 minute private coaching online session (value US$125, approx $225 NZ) to discuss your writing, or assist with setting goals, overcoming obstacles, or any thing else that will help to optimise your mind and your life.
You can learn more about my intentions with Café Reflections here.
Friends are the Coffee Break in the Business of Life
Back in the online training academy pioneer days I travelled to the US to meet a few of my online friends. It was an amazing experience to connect in person, and we all felt like we’d known each other forever. It did help that we were like-minded and had shared the journey for a while.
During my travels I stopped at a cafe, and had a coffee served in a mug which summed the experience up very nicely:
So if you like what you have read so far, I invite you to
become a subscriber. Free allows you to get to know me a bit more, and
maybe you will decide to upgrade to a paid subscription, which will
allow me to get to know you a bit more. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll be sitting together in a real cafe, enjoying a drink and reflecting on life with heartfelt conversations.
Make 2025 the year to identify, pursue and achieve your goals rather than just making New Year Resolutions which quickly get broken.
Deb
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